Remember when I told you about The Summer of Humble? Well, I thought it was time for an update. The Spring brought hormonal chaos and confusing weight gain, the Summer brought acne…and the Fall? Oh goodness, I don’t even want to guess. Yes, I have received some answers from this physical issues (diagnosed with Hashimoto’s, admitted I had Adrenal Fatigue, etc.), however, all of these challenges have given me a strength and are teaching me about confidence, and self-awareness….the reality is, some people really do think I don’t look heavier and some people aren’t lying when they tell me I look good. Yes, I realize how crazy that sentence is, but I’m only starting to realize that I’m not some mutant that is sooo different and unlovable. I am “beautifully and fearfully made”….we all are.
This weekend I had a mini high school reunion…honestly, I was so nervous to see people who I hadn’t seen since graduation. Growing up, I was constantly looking forward, and striving to be the best. Yes, that drive has gotten me where I am today, but, the audition is over. Life is happening now, so I need to stop doing things that are ‘shoulds’, or that are other people’s dreams. I’ve realized that even if you have done amazing things, no one is going to want to be around you if you’re an asshole. At this dinner party, my work or New York didn’t come up. It was a relief because when I find myself having to talk about that part of my life, I have to admit, I sometimes sound like an asshole…instead we talked about stereotypical female things, like boobs, boys and best friends….good thing Gloria Steinem wasn’t invited.
So, here’s to bearing it all. Not being an asshole, just being 23, with teenage acne and a desire to find love for myself.
PS. If this isn’t Marvelous, I don’t know what is:)